We’ve all heard the phrase “romanticize your life” floating around social media. It’s become a kind of mantra—drink your coffee like it’s magic, take long walks like you’re the main character, light a candle and pretend you’re in a French film. Sounds dreamy, right?
And honestly, there’s something really beautiful about that. The idea that we can find beauty in the ordinary, joy in the mundane, and a little spark in our everyday routine—it’s appealing, especially in a world that often feels chaotic or uninspired.
But at some point, we have to pause and ask: Are we romanticizing life too much? Are we so busy trying to make moments feel special that we forget to actually be in them? Where’s the line between appreciating the little things and avoiding the big ones? Between making life feel magical and facing life as it truly is?
Let’s dive into that balance.
What Does It Mean to Romanticize Life?
At its core, romanticizing life means looking at your day-to-day through a softer lens. It’s about slowing down and noticing the beauty around you—whether it’s how the sun hits your bedroom wall in the morning or the sound of rain hitting your window.
It’s taking the ordinary and making it feel extraordinary.
In a way, it’s a form of mindfulness. It invites us to pay attention, to notice, to appreciate. And that’s a really powerful thing in a culture that pushes us to constantly hustle and chase the next big thing.
But romanticizing life can also come with a kind of pressure. If you’ve ever watched someone’s morning routine on TikTok or Instagram and felt like yours just didn’t measure up, you know what I mean. The vibe candles, the matcha latte in a perfect glass, the clean sheets, the dainty gold jewelry—it starts to feel like a performance. A curated version of real life.
The Good Side of Romanticizing
Let’s be clear: there is something lovely and even healing about romanticizing your life. For people going through burnout, depression, loneliness, or just a rough season, this mindset can offer a little light.
Lighting a candle while you write in your journal might not solve all your problems, but it might make the moment feel softer. Wearing your favorite outfit on a random Tuesday might lift your mood. Taking a solo walk with your favorite playlist might help you feel like you’re part of something bigger, even if you’re alone.
Sometimes, that’s exactly what we need.
Romanticizing life reminds us that life isn’t just about milestones or big events. It’s about how we spend our days—and our days are made of tiny, seemingly insignificant moments. Making those moments feel special can help us feel more present, more grateful, more grounded.
When Romanticizing Becomes Escapism
But what happens when we start to romanticize instead of live?
That’s when things get blurry.
There’s a fine line between seeing the beauty in a moment and pretending a moment is beautiful when it’s not. Life isn’t always aesthetic. It’s messy. It’s boring sometimes. It’s hard. And if we’re constantly trying to filter reality through a dreamy lens, we might miss the point entirely.
Sometimes, romanticizing life becomes a way to avoid it.
It can look like:
- Ignoring red flags in a relationship because you’re caught up in the “story” of it.
- Spending more time filming your coffee than enjoying it.
- Pretending you’re okay because the aesthetic says you should be.
- Creating routines that look beautiful but don’t actually support your well-being.
It’s like building a life that looks good on the outside but feels hollow on the inside.
And no one wants that.
Actually Living Means Showing Up—Even When It’s Not Pretty
Living your life isn’t always glamorous. In fact, a lot of it isn’t.
It’s showing up to a job you don’t love because it pays the bills while you figure things out. It’s doing laundry, answering emails, sitting in traffic, arguing with people you care about, feeling overwhelmed, questioning your path.
Living means being present for the full experience, not just the highlights.
It means letting things be what they are—even if they’re messy or uncomfortable or boring. It’s crying when you’re sad, not because it fits into a poetic narrative, but because you’re human. It’s being honest about where you are and what you feel.
When we’re really living, we’re not just watching our lives like a movie. We’re in it. And sometimes, that means setting the camera down. Putting the phone away. Not worrying about how it looks. Just being there.
So… Where’s the Balance?
Here’s the thing: romanticizing life and actually living it aren’t enemies. They can live together. They should live together.
The key is in the intention.
Are you drinking your coffee slowly because you want to be present and savor it? Or because you want it to look good on your Instagram story?
Are you putting effort into your outfit because it makes you feel confident? Or because you think your life has to look like a Pinterest board?
Are you curating an aesthetic or cultivating a life?
Ask yourself: is this helping me connect more deeply to the present moment—or distracting me from it?
When romanticizing becomes a tool for presence, it’s powerful. When it becomes a mask, it’s just another form of disconnection.
How to Find That Middle Ground
If you’re trying to strike a balance between romanticizing life and living it fully, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind:
1. Make it personal, not performative.
If lighting candles at night helps you wind down and feel cozy, do it. If it doesn’t, skip it. There’s no right way to be “main character energy.” Let your version of romanticizing be about what makes you feel good—not what looks good to others.
2. Let yourself be un-aesthetic sometimes.
Not everything has to be beautiful. Some days are just about getting through. Let your room be messy. Let your face be bare. Let your lunch be leftovers in a Tupperware. Real life doesn’t always match a vibe, and that’s okay.
3. Stay connected to your why.
Are your routines helping you feel more grounded? Is your lifestyle making space for joy and rest? If it’s not working—meaning it’s not feeding your real-life needs—then it might be time to reassess.
4. Be honest with yourself.
If you’re using romanticizing to avoid hard things, notice it. Gently call yourself out. It’s okay. We all do it sometimes. But don’t stay there. Face what needs facing. Do the hard stuff. That’s what makes the soft stuff even sweeter.
5. Practice presence over perfection.
Instead of chasing the perfect vibe, try just being there. Smell the coffee. Feel the warmth of the sun. Hear the birds outside. Take a breath. No aesthetic filter needed. That’s real magic.
Final Thoughts
Life is both beautiful and brutal. It’s full of tiny joys and heavy truths. It’s laughter and grief, quiet mornings and chaotic nights, routines and surprises.
Romanticizing life can help us slow down and see the beauty in the small things—but only if we’re honest about the big picture. We need both. The soft and the strong. The dreamy and the real.
So go ahead—make your bed like you live in a cottage in the woods. Walk through the city like you’re in a movie. Pour your tea like it’s a ritual. Dance in your kitchen at night. Wear the dress. Write the poem.
But also—have the hard conversation. Clean the dishes. Cry on the bathroom floor when you need to. Get through the mundane. Feel the full weight of your life, not just the feather-light moments.
The goal isn’t to live in a fantasy. The goal is to live fully.
Ayerhs Magazine 