It usually starts with a simple intention: I just want to check the time or maybe peek at a notification. But somehow, it turns into 45 minutes of endless scrolling through headlines, tweets, reels, and Reddit threads. Next thing I know, it’s 2 AM, my brain is buzzing with bad news, and sleep feels miles away. Doomscrolling, they call it. And it’s just one of the many habits I’m slowly, painfully trying to unlearn.
Unlearning, I’ve come to realize, is harder than learning. Learning feels like building. Unlearning? It feels like tearing down walls I didn’t even know I built. But here I am, trying to make room for more peace, less noise, and a version of myself that doesn’t rely on overstimulation to feel alive.
Let me tell you about the habits I’m unlearning, one 2 AM moment at a time.
1. Doomscrolling at 2 AM
This one had to top the list. Doomscrolling became my nightly routine without me even realizing it. It started during a particularly stressful week, and I told myself it helped me decompress. But instead of feeling relaxed, I ended up anxious, overwhelmed, and too wired to sleep.
I began replacing my phone with a book. I placed it across the room instead of beside my bed. I reintroduced rituals I had forgotten, like herbal tea and journaling. It wasn’t easy, especially on nights when sleep played hard to get. But slowly, my brain learned that 2 AM was no longer for endless feeds of negativity.
2. Equating Productivity with Worth
Somewhere along the way, I picked up the belief that if I wasn’t constantly doing something, I was wasting time. Rest felt indulgent. Naps were a guilty pleasure. A slow day made me feel like a failure.
I’m unlearning this hustle culture mindset. Productivity doesn’t define my value. I’ve started giving myself permission to rest, to do nothing, and to take breaks without mentally punishing myself. It’s hard to sit still when your inner voice is yelling at you to do more, be more. But that voice is losing its power, one lazy Sunday at a time.
3. Over-Apologizing
“Sorry” became my default word. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for speaking. Sorry for not replying quickly enough. Sorry for things that weren’t even mine to own.
I’m learning that I don’t need to apologize for existing. Replacing “sorry” with “thank you” helped. Instead of saying, “Sorry I’m late,” I say, “Thank you for waiting.” It shifts the energy and takes me out of the guilt loop.
4. Saying Yes When I Mean No
People-pleasing is exhausting. I used to say yes out of fear—fear of letting people down, fear of being seen as difficult, fear of confrontation.
Now, I’m unlearning the need to be liked by everyone. I remind myself that “no” is a complete sentence. Boundaries aren’t rude; they’re necessary. Saying no doesn’t make me selfish. It makes me honest. And honestly? It feels really, really good.
5. Shrinking to Fit In
For a long time, I made myself smaller to avoid standing out. I muted my voice in rooms where I should have spoken up. I dressed down when I wanted to express myself. I swallowed my ideas because I was afraid they weren’t good enough.
But I’m done dimming my light. I’m learning to take up space, to be proud of who I am, and to show up fully, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Growth isn’t about pleasing everyone; it’s about becoming who you were meant to be.
6. Measuring My Life Against Someone Else’s Timeline
Social media makes it so easy to feel behind. Someone is always getting married, landing a dream job, traveling the world, or buying a home. And there I was, comparing my behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel.
But life isn’t a race. I’m unlearning the need to keep up. My path is mine alone, and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. The pressure to arrive somewhere by a certain age? That’s not real. What’s real is showing up for myself every day, in whatever season I’m in.
7. Avoiding Discomfort
For a long time, I ran from hard conversations, difficult feelings, and any situation that made me uncomfortable. But growth doesn’t live in comfort zones.
Now, I try to lean in. I listen more. I let myself feel what I’d usually shove down. It’s uncomfortable, yes. But it’s also liberating. Because once you face what you fear, it starts to lose its grip on you.
8. Multitasking My Life Away
I used to wear multitasking like a badge of honor. Watching TV while replying to emails while eating dinner? Check, check, check. But in doing everything at once, I wasn’t really present for any of it.
I’m unlearning the need to always be “on.” I’m trying to do one thing at a time, to be where my feet are. Whether it’s eating without distractions or having a conversation without glancing at my phone, presence is the new productivity.
9. Being My Own Worst Critic
No one has been harder on me than me. The things I’ve said to myself? I wouldn’t say them to a stranger.
I’m unlearning the inner critic. I’m learning to speak to myself with kindness, the way I would to someone I love. Self-compassion is a habit I want to get better at. I still mess up. I still have bad days. But I’m learning not to make those moments mean I’m not worthy.
10. Believing That Healing Is Linear
I thought healing meant steady progress. But it doesn’t. Healing is messy. It loops back on itself. One day you’re fine, the next you’re crying over something you thought you let go of.
I’m unlearning the idea that I have to “arrive” at some perfect healed version of myself. Growth is not a straight line. It’s a spiral. And every time I come back to a familiar pain, I return with more awareness, more strength, more tools.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Unlearning is slow work. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also incredibly freeing. Every habit I shed makes space for something better—peace, presence, authenticity, joy.
If you’re in the middle of unlearning something that no longer serves you, I hope you know you’re not alone. I hope you give yourself grace. I hope you choose rest over hustle, boundaries over burnout, and love over fear.
We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to be present. Even at 2 AM.
Ayerhs Magazine 